Bad Translation: As You Like It

Untuk Bad Translation saya langsung tulis pakai Bahasa Indonesia saja ya. Toh kalaupun ditulis pakai Bahasa Inggris pada akhirnya yang mengerti juga orang Indonesia lagi. Haha.

Kali ini saya mencomot beberapa adegan dari As You Like It karya William Shakespeare. Karya ini ditulis sebagai komedi, jadi seharusnya memang lucu. Sebenarnya saya sama sekali tidak yakin bahwa seluruh komedi yang ada di sana bisa dibuat sama menariknya sewaktu diterjemahkan, terutama karena jurang pemisah antara zaman dan budaya dari waktu komedi tersebut dibuat. Tapi seperti biasa saya akan mencoba.

TOUCHSTONE.
Of a certain knight that swore by his honour they were
good pancakes, and swore by his honour the mustard was naught.
Now I'll stand to it, the pancakes were naught and the mustard
was good, and yet was not the knight forsworn.
CELIA.
How prove you that, in the great heap of your knowledge?
ROSALIND.
Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.
TOUCHSTONE.
Stand you both forth now: stroke your chins, and swear
by your beards that I am a knave.
CELIA.
By our beards, if we had them, thou art.
TOUCHSTONE.
By my knavery, if I had it, then I were. But if you
swear by that that not, you are not forsworn; no more was this
knight, swearing by his honour, for he never had any; or if he
had, he had sworn it away before ever he saw those pancackes or
that mustard.

Translasi, seperti biasa:

TOUCHSTONE.
Dari seorang ksatria yang bersumpah demi kehormatannya bahwa pancake-nya enak dan mustardnya nggak. Saya saksinya, pancake-nya nggak enak dan mustardnya enak, dan si ksatria itu sumpahnya nggak sah.
CELIA.
Buktinya apa?
ROSALIND.
Iya, iya, coba buktiin.
TOUCHSTONE.
Nah sekarang kalian pegang dagu kalian, dan sumpah demi janggut kalian bahwa saya orangnya brengsek.
CELIA.
Sumpah demi janggut kami, seandainya kami punya.
TOUCHSTONE.
Demi kebrengsekan saya, seandainya saya emang brengsek, iya. Tapi kalo kalian sumpah demi sesuatu yang nggak ada, sumpahnya nggak sah, dong. Sama aja kaya ksatria ini, sumpah demi kehormatannya, padahal dia nggak terhormat, atau kalaupun dia dulu terhormat udah abis dipake sumpah kayanya kehormatannya.

Adegan di hutan, Rosalind, Celia dan Touchstone.

ROSALIND.
O Jupiter, how weary are my spirits!
TOUCHSTONE.
I care not for my spirits, if my legs were not weary.
ROSALIND.
I could find in my heart to disgrace my man's apparel,
and to cry like a woman; but I must comfort the weaker vessel, as
doublet and hose ought to show itself courageous to petticoat;
therefore, courage, good Aliena.
CELIA.
I pray you bear with me; I cannot go no further.
TOUCHSTONE.
For my part, I had rather bear with you than bear you;

Translasi:

ROSALIND.
Demi Jupiter, aku udah capek hati rasanya!
TOUCHSTONE.
Saya sih mending cape hati daripada cape kaki.
ROSALIND.
Aduh, kalo lagi ga pake baju cowok, aku udah pingin nangis-nangis ni rasanya kaya anak cewek. Tapi karena aku lagi pake baju cowok, harus bisa menghibur cewek, jadi, sabar ya, Aliena.
CELIA.
Tunggu aku bentar ya. Aku udah ga kuat jalan lagi.
TOUCHSTONE.
Buat saya sih mendingan nunggu kamu daripada nanggung kamu. Udah berat, ga ada untungnya lagi.

Adegan di hutan, Rosalind dan Celia:

ROSALIND.
Never talk to me; I will weep.
CELIA.
Do, I prithee; but yet have the grace to consider that tears
do not become a man.
ROSALIND.
But have I not cause to weep?
CELIA.
As good cause as one would desire; therefore weep.
ROSALIND.
His very hair is of the dissembling colour.
CELIA.
Something browner than Judas's.
Marry, his kisses are Judas's own children.
ROSALIND.
I' faith, his hair is of a good colour.
CELIA.
An excellent colour: your chestnut was ever the only colour.
ROSALIND.
And his kissing is as full of sanctity as the touch of
holy bread.
CELIA.
He hath bought a pair of cast lips of Diana. A nun of
winter's sisterhood kisses not more religiously; the very ice of
chastity is in them.
ROSALIND.
But why did he swear he would come this morning, and
comes not?
CELIA.
Nay, certainly, there is no truth in him.
ROSALIND.
Do you think so?
CELIA.
Yes; I think he is not a pick-purse nor a horse-stealer; but
for his verity in love, I do think him as concave as covered
goblet or a worm-eaten nut.
ROSALIND.
Not true in love?
CELIA.
Yes, when he is in; but I think he is not in.
ROSALIND.
You have heard him swear downright he was.
CELIA.
'Was' is not 'is';

Translasi:

ROSALIND.
Jangan ajak aku ngomong, aku mau nangis aja.
CELIA.
Sok aja, tapi cowok harusnya nggak nangis lho..
ROSALIND.
Tapi aku punya banyak alasan buat nangis.
CELIA.
Oh, banyak banget. Sok aja nangis.
ROSALIND.
Warna rambutnya merah kaya rambut Yudas[1].
CELIA.
Rambutnya sih agak lebih coklat daripada Yudas, tapi ciumannya kaya ciuman Yudas.
ROSALIND.
Tapi warna rambutnya emang bagus.
CELIA.
Bagus banget! Kamu taunya cuma warna coklat sih.
ROSALIND.
Dan ciumannya sama khidmatnya kaya roti persembahan.
CELIA.
Sama khidmatnya kaya ciuman Diana[2]. Suci, tapi sedingin es.
ROSALIND.
Tapi kenapa dia bilang bakal dateng pagi ini trus ga dateng?
CELIA.
Berarti tu orang tukang bohong.
ROSALIND.
Masa iya?
CELIA.
Iya; Yah, dia bukan maling sih, tapi kalo udah soal cinta, tu orang ga bener.
ROSALIND.
Ga bener soal cinta?
CELIA.
Kalo dia bener-bener cinta sih bener aja; tapi kayanya dia ga bener-bener cinta kamu.
ROSALIND.
Kan kamu kemarin denger dia sumpah dia cinta aku.
CELIA.
Kemarin kan bukan sekarang.

That's all. Bagian tersulit memang mencari kata-kata yang pelesetannya mendekati apa yang Shakespeare mau. Misalnya bagian “I care not for my spirits, if my legs were not weary”, “bear with you than bear you”, dan permainan kata 'true' di “when he is in; but I think he is not in”. Maaf kalau tidak memuaskan, I really did try my best.

Tunggu edisi Bad Translation berikutnya ya.. :D

[1] Ciuman Yudas: Yudas mengkhianati Yesus dengan cara menciumnya.

[2] Diana: Diana adalah dewi keperawanan.